Lust and Love at First Sight – Myth or Fact?

Lust and Love at First Sight – Myth or Fact?

 We’ve all heard the phrase, “love at first sight”,or as the French say, “coup de foudre” (a lightening blow). This eventheats up the glands, sends electrical charges down the spine orchakras, makes the hands flutter, the palms sweat, twists the tongue,and causes seemingly sane people to appear like morons or imbeciles, oreven worse, panicky buffoons, or tequila shot drinkers.

 But does love at first sight really exist? You hearstories about some alluring enchantress or dashing gentleman catchingthe eye of an admirer who never even exchanged a word with the objectof their attraction. The gaze or glance charged the brain and heatedthe loins, but what caused these physical events to occur? Can aphysical attraction really create such a powerful emotional charge? Areour brains wired to respond to signals based on physical attraction, oris this EKG acceleration, pupil dilation, and glandular heat-wavetriggered by prior history, such as this sexy person resembling aformer love or crush or someone famous that has been the object offantasies and secret passions?

 Love takes time to cultivate and nurture, therelationship experts tell us. You need to really live with a personduring the highs and lows, and to accept each other with all thefaults. If you discover that Prince Charming really loves to drinkbeers and watch his favorite team on Sunday or play poker or go fishingwith his friends on Saturday, perhaps this is OK. If Princessa becomesobsessive about keeping the house spotless and having her own “space”in the bathroom,  that should be perfectly acceptable. But what happensif you learn that Prince Charming has a penchant for late-nightInternet porn or confronts any male who even glances at his girlfriendor wife? Or what to do if you realize Princessa keeps her slender shapeby consuming mega-diet pills or an eating disorder.

 Love is about making compromises, the great poetOvid said. He also said Love and Hate are about the same. Why can’t weachieve the idealistic love of Romeo and Juliet, those star-crossedlovers who sacrificed everything, including their lives, for theirloves? Actually, why was Juliet such a fool? If she would have been theideal partner, she would never have played such a deadly game withlove.  These were teenagers from rich society families. Why didn’t theyjust steal some loot from the family coffers and elope to some islandfor a little passion and romance? Think of all their descendants whocould be cavorting on Mykonos, Ibiza, St. Tropez, Venice , or MiamiBeach,  Sardinia, or growing grapes for great wine in Valpolicellaoutside Verona, or singing arias at operas or designing monuments andbuildings. But, alas, these star-crossed lovers really screwed up. 

 So how can you tell if the person who is your new object of attraction has triggered the sparks of love or lust at first sight?

 1)     He performs CPR on an elderly woman in the street – LOVE?

2)     She twists and turns in that little black dress, smiles – LUST?

3)     He grins with confidence and nods at the bartender – LUST?

4)     She bends down, ties a nephew’s shoes at a wedding – LOVE?

5)     He volunteers for a foundation building houses – LOVE?

6)     She sips her cappuccino and glances at you – LUST?

7)     He makes long eye contact and greets you – LUST?

8)     She extends her hand after you crashed your bicycle – LOVE?

 So what’s love? And what’s lust? Do relationshipsthrive when there’s a balance of love and lust? Can even casualencounter have more passion, when there’s even the possibility of love?Philosophers and poets and scientists have studied the mysteries oflove and lust for millenniums? Something tells me they will solve themystery of the universe sooner than they discover the mysteries andsecrets and causes of lust and love.

So, do you believe in love at first sight? Or lust at first sight? Curious minds want to know.  Or do you believe in both?