How to Get Started On an Online Dating Site!
Areyou looking to find the love of your life? Well the process of findingthe love of your life has become very easy. Technology plays animportant role in all our lives. It has become an integral part of ourlives. Everything we do involves technology. Technology even helps usfind the love of our lives. One might wonder how to find the rightpartner using technology. Well, with the help of the internet, it ispossible to find the right person for you. Online dating sites havebecome very popular today. Most of them boast of being very successful.And the best part about most of these sites is that they are free! Soit is high time we take advantage of this and add more spice to ourlove lives. Let us now see how to get started on these online datingsites like youandme.
Thefirst thing you need to do is find out what exactly you want. You needto know for sure if you want to find love online or if you are justlooking for friendship. You should keep in mind that these sites can beaccessed by people all over the world. If your love happens to be in adifferent continent, you need to take the practicalities intoconsideration. You might invariably end up becoming just e-pen pals. Soif you are looking for a proper relationship, take all factors intoconsideration.
Try to narrow down your search. Try and findpeople in your city or state so that the possibility of actuallymeeting them increases. Also try and look for people with similartastes as you. You can narrow down the search based on ethnicity,hobbies, etc. This will surely help you narrow down and find the personof your dreams.
Once you have found the right site for you,the next step is to create the right used ID and profile. Remember,your user ID is the first thing which people will notice when they seeyour profile. So make sure it describes you aptly. Do not go in for theusual names. They will not attract much attention. After you chooseyour user ID, do up your profile. Your profile should be interestingand engaging. When people read about you, they should feel the urge toread on. So make it as interesting as you possibly can.
Thelast step is very important. You need to be honest about yourself. Theperson you are trying to woo should like you for who you are. So do notlie and tell the truth about yourself. Also upload a good dating profile pictureof yourself. The person who is interested by your profile willobviously want to see a picture of you. Adding a picture is bound toget at least ten times more responses. So try and look your best and behonest and truthful. Go all out to woo the love of your life and makeuse of these online dating sites.
This is an example of a WordPress page, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many pages like this one or sub-pages as you like and manage all of your content inside of WordPress.
ONLINE DATING SAFETY TIPS
IT’S WISE TO PLAY IT SAFE: [IMPORTANT] ADVICE FOR PROTECTING YOUSELF ONLINE AND OFF
By Samantha Brewer
Onlinedating can be a lot of fun. We get that little email “ding” meaningsomeone’s checked us out and wants to meet. Or we roam the profiles ofpossible matches to see who generates a spark. There’s a whole world ofpossibilities but it’s anonymous until we turn it into a personalconnection. Just like the offline universe, it has its share ofdangers. While women have special concerns about safety (more on thisbelow), both sexes can benefit by following commonsense approaches todating online.
The most fundamental advice is to go slow onrevealing personal information. Online dating allows us to get to knowa lot about people before we meet them but this can give us a falsesense of security. The chance we’ll expose ourselves to danger beginswith the way we present ourselves online.
USERNAMES AND PROFILES
Nothinggood is achieved with a username or headlines that are overly sexual orsuggestive. They’re an invitation that may attract the wrong kind ofattention and they set a tone that encourages inappropriate behavior.Avoid this in your choice of username and headline, and be extremelywary when you come across it in another.
Make sure your profile doesn’t reveal contactinformation or easily identifiable personal details. There’s no need tooffer specific information about where you live or work. Describe yourlocation in a general way if possible. The name of the big city youlive in or near is sufficient; you don’t have to identify the suburb orneighborhood.
Of course you should also keep in mind that theglowing profile of someone you’re checking out also has an anonymousauthor. It may go well beyond the standard array of modestexaggerations and provide patently false information. For example,surveys suggest that between ten and thirty percent of the people usingonline dating services are married.
THE ONLINE DATING CONNECTION and COMMUNICATION BEGIN
So you’ve winked at each other, one of you has openedthe conversation and you’ve checked out his or her profile. It lookspromising; a little excitement is in the air as you begin communicatingonline. This is not a time to let your guard down.
Continue to be careful about providing detailedpersonal information address, e-mail and phone number. If you gooffsite to further the communication, use an email account that doesn’tidentify you. Some people open an account solely for dating by usingone of the free services. During these exchanges it’s time to ask for arecent photo if you haven’t already seen one.
There are ways to check people out online and there’snothing wrong with using them. Stop the dating conversation at any timeif you uncover disturbing or misleading or conflicting information orfeel uncomfortable or uneasy. Any mention of a loan, or asking formoney, from one of the YOUAND.ME members, will be treated as a scamand you should end the correspondence. Youand.me is determined to keepits site as safe as possible and you’re encouraged to report anyexamples of abuse.
SO YOU’VE GONE OVER TO VOICE
Safety experts often suggest using a public phone forearly conversations and recommend giving out your cell phone numberrather than your work or home number. Voice contact is an opportunityto get to know someone better, and we recommend using youand.me’s phonechat and video chat. Instead of reading text we get to hear the otherperson’s voice—and that can tell us a lot.
We can learn from the tone of a person’s voice andtheir unrehearsed response to questions. Are they vague in theiranswers or even avoid answering at all? Are there inconsistencies,inappropriate suggestions or flashes of anger? Do calls only happen atodd hours or in hushed tones? Listen to your instincts. Better safethan sorry.
A WOMAN’S FIRST DATE
Well, it’s that time. After all, the point is to getto meet someone and connect in person. While we need to be vigilantabout safety issues they needn’t stand in the way of meeting up inperson.
First dates raise particular concerns for women, ofcourse, and the advice to be cautious about revealing too much personalinformation certainly applies. Here’s a quick checklist of sensibleprecautions.
• The date should take place in a familiar public setting.
• Tell someone about where, when and with whom you’re meeting up.
• Arrange your own transportation—there and back.
• Bring money for emergencies and be prepared to go “Dutch.”
• Bring your cell phone. (Turn the ringer off; it’s for outgoing help.)
• Stay sober. And don’t stay out too late.
• Don’t leave your personal belongings unattended and order a new drink if your last one has been out of sight.
• Refuse to be pressured in any way.
There’s every chance the first date will turn outwell. It’s often fun getting to know someone new. It can set us off ondelectable fantasies and exhilarating hopes for the future. But itdoesn’t and probably shouldn’t happen too quickly. As excited as we maybe about a new love interest, there’s a world of tomorrows to lookforward to. Savor these early, getting-to-know-you times; they’re apart of the relationship that only happens once.
A NOTE TO MEN ABOUT WOMEN AND SAFETY
There’s no reason to be offended by the attentionwomen place on safety. In fact, there’s a bonus in it for you (seebelow). Most women understand that the majority of men are considerateand not out to harm them, but this is one of those situations where afew bad apples spoil the crop. Women have deep, hard-wired instinctsfor self preservation and it’s a fact of nature that women can bephysically vulnerable. Many have had unpleasant or even dangerousencounters, been harassed, even stalked.
Conveying a sense of security and trust can deliverbig dividends for men. Make your date feel safe. Trust can open thefloodgates for a woman. Feeling safe and secure and trusting thesituation she’s in frees a woman to be herself, allowing her to let go.You’ll both come out winners.
The online dating world is filled with enchantingpossibilities. Keep common sense safety issues in mind. Trust your gutinstincts. And let the adventure begin!
Samantha Brewer is a researcher and freelance writer specializing in modern dating and relationship topics.
Samantha Brewer is a researcher and freelance writer specializing in modern dating and relationship topics.
WHAT THE RESEARCH SAYS ABOUT OUR SEXUAL FANTASIES: HOW WOMEN AND MEN DIFFER
By Samantha Brewer
Well, here we are at the fun stuff. Those exquisite,sometimes urgent, sexual thoughts and fantasies that intrude—or areinvited—into our day. It’s a big topic, of course, so we’ll stick tothe basics for now (there will be more on this scintillating subject inthe days ahead).
Let’s begin with a few fundamentals about sexualfantasies. For starters, we all have them. Sex and reproduction are atthe very center of our lives and the joys of intimacy are nature’s wayof getting us to focus on this crucial task. Our fantasies are fueledby urgent hormones, motivated by deep-seated desires, and triggered bythe inviting, ubiquitous sexual images that are a feature of modernlife. So it’s no surprise we spend a lot of our time longing forintimate contact, planning or scheming for it, and arranging our livesto get it.
A certain amount of sexual fantasy is not onlynormal, it’s a healthy, part of a balanced sex life whether we’re in anactive relationship or just getting by on our own. Even if we’rewaist-deep in a happy, long-term relationship, it seems only natural toat least wonder about other partners, flirtatious fantasies thatsubstitute for the variety of sexual expression many of us crave.Fantasies are neither right nor wrong. We don’t have to act on them;it’s only when we impose our desires on unwilling partners thatmorality enters the picture.
Sex with a stranger? Sex in a dangerous or publicplace? How about sex with a stranger in a dangerous place? A lot morepeople think about this than wind up doing it. Very few of us actuallyget involved in bondage fantasies, for another example, but most of ususe less complicated kinds of restraint in our sex lives. Sharingsexual fantasies with a ready and willing partner may not only be theticket to a great time, but a way to keep the chemistry going in anextended relationship or marriage.
It’s also important to keep human individuality inmind. Yes, there are some fantasy themes nearly all of us share; infact some are found across most every human culture. And there areclearly some fantasies in which the sexes seem to specialize. But ourindividual longings are as unique as our personalities when it comes tosexual fantasy and they often shift around as we age and the hormonalbalance in our bodies change.
MEN AND WOMEN: PERFECT COMPLEMENTS?
Sex goes hand-in-glove, so to speak. This is thefortunate way that nature tends to design things. Men love to look,women love to show off. For the literary minded this comes down to pornfor the guys and romance novels for the ladies. See, and be seen. Thisequation fuels a gazillion web sites, a million advertisements andevery fashion runway (well, almost).
Writing about examples of female display from anevolutionary point-of-view in The Disposable Male, Michael Gilbert,Youand.me’s consulting editor, describes why high heels are such a sexyshow off. “Accentuating the musculature of a woman’s legs, they displaythoroughbred ankles, hint at a receptive posture, and bring a woman’sbreasts front and center into adult male sightlines. By hobblingherself, ever so delicately, a woman wearing heels out on a date iswhispering submission, drawing out the protective male instinct.”
The perfect match between the sexes extends beyondarousing visuals. In a general sense, the physical union of the sexessummons active, initiatory and dominating instincts in men, and areciprocal, receptive longing in women. But the sexes have their ownways of getting there.
VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF MALE LIFE
Awake or asleep, men think about sex twice as oftenas women and they’re much more likely to be aroused by their thoughts.The reason men have so many fantasies may be because they don’t lastvery long. Unburdened by emotion, male sexual fantasy is readilytriggered by visual cues. The scenes are repetitive. They go right tothe action, which usually features alluring body parts attached toexposed, wanton, and mostly anonymous females. Men readily changepartners during a single episode and fantasize about group sex muchmore than women. They are actively in control and dominant in most ofthese fantasies. The female is often restrained.
These patterns reflect biological and evolutionaryforces. Males must penetrate to get their reproductive job done. Butthey’re not the ones getting pregnant. Spared this burdensomeconsequence, and with paternal identity often uncertain, malehard-wiring has long encouraged quantity over quality. Shaped by eonson unforgiving savannas, today’s adult male still seems inclined, ifnot compelled, to plant as many seeds as he can in search of a geneticfuture.
Grown men in the twenty-first century may understandthe benefits and joys of bonding to a single, enduring partner whilefocusing their parenting skills on a couple of well-raised progeny. Butprimitive instincts die hard.
ROMANCE AND PASSION GO TOGETHER FOR WOMEN
Womenmay think of sex less often than men but they can milk a fantasy allday. Women are big on atmosphere and intimate connection. Theirfantasies tend to feature a single man with whom they’re usuallyfamiliar. Rarely aroused by visual clues alone, women enjoy showing offand, especially, the male response they generate. Their fantasies canget very hot indeed. Unlike men, whose fantasy lives may be more activewhen they’re without a partner, a woman’s fantasy life is oftenheightened when she’s in a relationship.
Female receptivity extends to the much discussed“rape fantasy.” In fact, being ravished, forcefully commanded, evenraped are common among women (there, I said it and I feel betteralready). But this widespread fantasy bears some examination. The rapeis often imagined as consensual and devoid of physical injury. Althoughit may involve strangers, and sometimes more than one, it’s usually adesired partner who falls madly in love with her. More important, it’sthe woman who’s in control; it’s her partner who’s out of control,unable to contain himself in her smoldering presence.
Once again, the female fantasy line-up seems toreflect our natural and evolutionary heritage. Women carry one man’sseed at a time through pregnancy, bearing its consequences and ongoingresponsibilities. This inclines a woman to think in terms of the futureand this means relationship. Sure, we have a medicine chest full ofbirth control options these days but the female brain has been layeredin place over an eternity of serious survival challenges. Deep-seatedreproductive female instincts won’t fade away any time soon.
This, of course, sets up the ancient tension betweenthe sexes: short-term male enthusiasm v. long-term female calculation.A universe of seduction is set in motion. Fantasies offer us a world ofenticement and joy. Converting them to reality needs to be doneresponsibly if they involve the presence of another person. Yet theysymbolize our deepest sexual longings. Through fantasies we are free toexplore our innermost desires and the blissful frontiers of sexualintimacy.
Samantha Brewer is a researcher and freelance writer specializing in modern dating and relationship topics